I have Faye Wong's "I'll Marry To You Tomorrow" on repeat - hehe!

One of my Mercyworlders got married on Saturday... it was a very awesome wedding.  The weather was great, the cookies were yummy, and they had hot dogs and hamburgers (how cool is that?!).  ^_^;  AND I got awesome pics of me and Angelo (he was best man so he got all spiffied up in a tux... YUM!).  I met another Becky... which was also very cool, and there are similarities between us that make life all that much more fun.  ^_^  I've been to weddings before, but this is one that I actually cried at.  It wasn't just cause Angelo was there, cause he was with me when my Uncle Dave got remarried.  I think it's cause I love Mark and Gina so much... they're just great people!  Let's see... I cried right before the ceremony was beginning, I cried during the vows and during both of the songs that were sung during the ceremony, and afterwards when I was hugging Mark.  ^^;  And more than that too, but, that's getting into details, and do you really want to read about that??  Oh, and then there was the Father-Daughter dance.... I cried more during that, too.  Gina had made a mix of songs for them to dance to, and it was just one of the sweetest most beautiful things I have ever seen.  Both Gina and her father were crying during it, and I was crying, and Angelo was laughing at me.  XD  And then I told him, I'm going to be 100 times worse at our wedding, and he laughed more and said he knew.  ^_~

I have been completely Angelo-spoiled these past few weeks.  I got to see Angelo in August, then 2 weeks later I spent Labor Day weekend in New York, and then this past weekend we were together for Mark's wedding.  So now I am quite sad.  : (  I was worse when he left... damn, that was hard.  I cried almost as much as I did at the wedding.  ^^;;  (I'm a very emotional person)  When I got back to my room (cause I walked with him to his truck), I just kinda collapsed onto my bed and cried... it was 11 and I didn't want to go to my class at 12, and when I was starting to talk myself into skipping, I started talking myself out of it.  In high school, I was really depressed all of my senior year, but no matter how terrible I was feeling, I could always drag myself around to do the things that needed to be done.  So that's what I did today.  I have myself 25 minutes to make a normally 15 minute trip to class, and literally dragged myself there.  After a while, I felt better, but I'm still sad now.  It's just not the same without him here.  When he leaves, something in me leaves too, and I feel a little empty.  Not so sad as to be really depressed but... sad enough that I feel not-myself.

and in the day everything's complex
there's nothing simple when i'm not around you.
and i miss you when you're gone, that is what i do.
and it's hard to carry on, but that is what i do...

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