One thing I remember frequently is the last time Angelo and I were together.  When it came time for him to leave, it caught me by surprise.  We had been talking as if he might stay longer, so his leaving really caught me off-guard, and I wasn't emotionally prepared for it.  I cried a lot, because of that.  In my mind I was screaming, "please, don't go... not yet... please stay a little longer. please don't go, please don't go!"  But I couldn’t speak.  I couldn't say the words, because I didn’t want to hurt him.  I know this is hard, equally, for both us.  I wouldn't dare make it any worse for him.  So I kept my futile pleas inside of my head.

At night, before I go to bed, I often think of that... I remember it all so clearly.  On nights like that (like this), I feel like a lonely, fragile little child; I hide beneath my blanket and hug my teddy bear, and pray that tomorrow gives me a reason to smile.

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