I'm talking to Daniel again now, too.  Well, I can't say "too" because I'm not talking to Brad anymore because he's never online, BUT if he were ever on, I would talk to Brad as well.  XD  Anyway... yeah... I'm baka and went to the chat room and he saw me and IMed me and that was that.  Said he doesn't hate me, wants to be friends again.  And I'm like "nani? *whimpers*", but I'm going with the flow and I like this flow.  I don't know how Angelo would feel about it, but I'm talking to Daniel again, and I like it and it's making me happy, so it doesn't really matter how he feels about it.

But anyway... thoughts are scattered right now.  It doesn't feel weird talking to him; it feels like it always did, just so comfortable.  It's kind of nice to find a friend again.  Actually, it's very nice.  There was a gaping hole, and now there is something to fill it.  It's weird to be forgiven, when I'm still not so sure about how to forgive myself.  Both Brad and Daniel say they've forgiven me, neither hates me.  So what's my problem, then, huh?  Why can't I forgive myself, and why do I still hate myself?  I just need to grow up, quit looking at the past, quit looking at what's wrong with me, and just move forward with my head held high.  All I can do is face my mistakes and do the best I can to live a better tomorrow.  *pokes self*  WAKE UP IN THERE!  What happened to you?  Don't tell me you let the world sap your strength, don't tell me you're just giving up, cause I won't stand for it any longer.  It's ridiculous to have fought so hard and for so long only to just fade away like this.  Get back up, get back out there!  You can do this.  We can do this!

Surprise, surprise, this flame still burns.

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